Succession Planning

Talking with the Proposed/Probable Successor

• Schedule a mutually convenient time to meet about being involved in your person’s life. Begin the conversation focused on a caring role: being around, stopping by, building a relationship. As the communication develops, listen to concerns they may share and be open about ways to address them.
• This is an emotional conversation for everyone; there may be sense of responsibility and fear/anxiety on part of the successor, you, and your loved one with a disability.
• Explore the successor’s comfort level with various aspects of the role. What parts of my loved one’s care can be assigned to paid caregivers or others, and what does successor involvement look like? Who else can be part of our team? This may include conversations with extended family, close friends, and others (such as paid staff).
• Listen to others and include your person.
• Be guided by what you hear while keeping your person in mind.
• Be open to sharing the role in ways that successor feels supported.

Tips Once Successor Has Agreed – Defining the Role

• Where are you in the conversation?
• What aspects of my loved one’s care have been discussed?
• Which can be assigned to paid caregivers and what does successor involvement look like? Goal is clarity around describing the role and tailoring it to the circumstances, your successor, and your person.
  • Successor lives nearby, has flexibility, and wants to be involved in the details.
  • Successor lives nearby, cannot get involved in details, but can provide oversight.
  • Successor lives in another state and you both will have to identify someone close for oversight
• Share details about the role (or roles). Is it doable and does it fit with successor’s life?
• Develop a successor support team through conversations with family and friends. Set a climate of open communication.
• Involve the individual with the disability early on and especially as people show interest. Include as much as possible.
• Do you have a plan for the successor to coordinate that includes others? Do you have funds to pay for care manager either intermittently or on a regular basis?

Your Successor Shouldn’t Feel Alone

• Describe your high-level vision of what the role entails.
• Reinforce that you have a plan that can be followed.
• Emphasize the goal is a plan that fits into the successor’s life.
• Caring Conversations are essential.

Sample Letter to Share with Friends and Family

This is an email which a mother shared with some close family and friends regarding being available to help if both the husband and wife were unable to be active or passed away unexpectedly.  It is one way to see who in your network is open to being part of the support circle for your family member.

Hi all,

We hope you are well. This letter is going to a select few so please keep this private. We have some family planning to do but before you read this, we want to acknowledge that we know folks have busy lives and already have many plans and responsibilities ahead and you should feel no obligation to be a part of what we are asking.

Our children are both happy and healthy. What you may not know is that “Xavier’s” special needs are called Intellectual Disability (IDD) and Autism Spectrum Disorder. One of the issues with these conditions for him is that it leaves him cognitively impaired and he will need lifelong supports. We have legal guardianship of him as he is sadly incapable of making major life decisions and needs and actually wants help with his decisions in order to be safe. We are both healthy and plan to live long lives, however, should we get hit by a bus at the same time tomorrow, both children will need emotional support and guidance, but Xavier will need even more. Thus, we have some additional planning to do for Xavier’s needs. He wishes to live on his own with friends and some support staff, so his living needs are not part of the planning, and we have also set him up financially. We are working on his vision now.

There are many things to oversee in regard to his care– (maintaining health appointments, watching his finances, safety in his home& relationships, overseeing support staff so he is treated well, making sure he is included in all family events, etc.) No one wants to have these hard conversations, but in today’s world, you never know what tomorrow brings and we need to be prepared. We have certainly spoken to Lorraine, and she will play a key role, but of course at this point in her life she would need some assistance.

Our ask: Would you like to work with Lorriane and support Xavier if anything were to happen? We need to make a plan and there is no obligation to help, one could even say “I can’t do anything now but I would like to be informed of who is doing what in case I have time later” or “I can be a backup” or “I would like to just be part of the conversation.” It is totally ok to say you’d prefer to hear more & have a private conversation or to say, “no thank you, I think that would be too much.”

There are agencies that step in when parents unexpectedly die at the same time and family is not able to help. We are just looking to provide a circle of support that may include family, friends and agencies to protect Xavier’s long-term needs in case something unexpected happens. This plan will have to be modified as we all age and our life circumstances change, so that means the people in key support roles now may not be available in several years while others may be in a place to provide more support later.

We see this plan being regularly updated every few years. This is a plan we hope never to have to invoke but it is our responsibility to have one and update it. We have an attorney who will oversee the plan. We know this is a lot of information to digest and may take some serious thought, and we didn’t want to put anyone on the spot with an in-person conversation.

So, would you like to hear more? Be a part or simply be in the know to encourage those in key roles or in case things change for you in the future? If you are comfortable or interested, please respond back just to us and we can always have a private conversation as well.

Quick Links

• Future Planning Guide
• Tools for Tomorrow
• Pathways to Friendship

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This page was last updated June 1, 2026.